"Hanging Fire" by Audre Lorde

Audre Lorde was a Caribbean-American writer, radical feminist, womanist, lesbian, and civil rights activist. Lorde focused her discussion of difference not only on differences between groups of women but between conflicting differences within the individual. She battled cancer for fourteen years and as a result, she chose to become more focused on both her life and her writing.

Hanging Fire

I am fourteen
and my skin has betrayed me
the boy I cannot live without
still sucks his thumb
in secret
how come my knees are
always so ashy
what if I die
before morning
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.
I have to learn how to dance
in time for the next party
my room is too small for me
suppose I die before graduation
they will sing sad melodies
but finally
tell the truth about me
There is nothing I want to do
and too much
that has to be done
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.
Nobody even stops to think
about my side of it
I should have been on Math Team
my marks were better than his
why do I have to be
the one
wearing braces
I have nothing to wear tomorrow
will I live long enough
to grow up
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.

This poem is told from the simplistic view of the world from a typical teenage girl. She talks about this time in her life where she is not yet a woman, but she is not a young girl either. The feeling of growing into your own skin is not comfortable for anyone, but this speaker puts this agonizing process into clear concise words. She explores both the physical and emotional aspects of puberty. The speaker, who is fourteen, speaks of her acne, her immature boyfriend, her stress about how much there is to do, and her braces in a tone of despair. She also talks about her clothes, of course, because no teenage girl ever has anything to wear. This girl talks about these things in such a desperate manner that those who read this poem can clearly recall this time in their lives. She also mentions repeatedly that her “momma’s in the bedroom with the door closed” which symbolizes that her mother isn’t paying attention to her in this time of need. Some teenagers face their insecurities all by themselves because they isolate themselves from others, but sometimes, like in the Speaker's case, the parents or parent do not interact with their children. The title “Hanging Fire” can represent the insecurities and bad thoughts that the speaker has about herself, and the fire hangs directly over her head. This fire burns her metaphorically and every time she has these bad thoughts of herself the fire drops and burns her confidence. The speaker needs someone to try and help her put out the fire over her head, but no one is paying attention. It is as if she needs her mother to put out the flames, but the mother doesn't notice her daughter’s pain from the fire. Almost everyone has a type of fire hanging over their heads and in their consciousness; it burns them until someone else can help put it out.